First it was doctored photos of missiles. Then came a fake stealth fighter and claims of sending monkeys into space. Now Iran has bent the laws of physics and created a time machine that can predict the future.

H.G. Wells is rolling over, six feet under. Doc Emmet Brown just crashed his DeLorean. Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are going loopy. But maybe web innovators like Tim Berners-Lee and professional journalists the world over should be just as appalled.

That's because Iran's Fars News Agency is serving up a clinic on how not to break and retract news online. Last week, Fars posted a story on the most amazing invention since indoor plumbing, a device that fits into a computer case, and reportedly predicts your life five to eight years in the future to reveal your marriage age, education, job and even how many children you'll have — just by touching you. It can also, allegedly, forecast the possibility of a military confrontation with a foreign country and fluctuations in foreign currencies and oil prices, with up to 98% accuracy. The meme-worthy story went viral, then the Iranians quickly deleted it. And they didn't go back in time to do that, because the machine is basically a talented fortune teller that doesn't transport you through time.